THE FEAR OF DOTS!
by BlackMajikk
Summary: in which shtuff 'appens, funny accents are overused,the rules of physics are SHUNNED and misspelled words are a happy part of life. also, Tamora Peirce owns all the characters in this fic,i just stole their medication.MUAHAHAHAHA!
1. PEASANTS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

**Hello Folks!**

**And that is what all will call my dear readers for the rest of eternity (dotdotdot) unless they (dotdotdot) REVEIW! PLEASE, OH, PLEASE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT YOU HOLD SACRED AND IN THE NAME OF ABERCROMBIE & FINCH **_**REVIEW**_**!!**

**Ahem.**

**Or as the Fanatics would say, hem, hem.**

**OK this has gotten so off track…I forgot what I was going to say…o well.**

**I will now start over.**

**Hello Folks!**

**And that is what all will call m dear re-**

**Wow.**

_**Déjà-vu**_

**ANYWHAY (and YA, THAT WAS SPELLED RIGHT!) (dotdotdot)**

**GOT IT!!**

**In this oh so wonderful creation of my loverlily mind, the peoples of Tortilla (TORTALL: infiltrated by Spellcheck) will be (dotdotdot)**

**RANDOM!!!!!!!**

**WOOHOO! EVERYONE THROW A PARADE!!!**

**ACTUALLY DON'T BECAUSE THEN THE STRETS WILL BE TOO CROWDED FOR US TO GO TO SCHOOL (dotdotdot)**

**ON SECOND THOUGHT (dotdotdot)**

**WOOHOO! EVEBODY THROW A PARADE!!!**

**OK!**

**NOW I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO STATR THE FIC!**

**AND I MIGHT TURN OFF CAPS LOCK!**

**BUT NOTHING'S DEFINATE!**

**Ok I'll shut up now.**

Once upon a time, in the realm of Internetness, a teenage girl was too lazy to make an actual story with a plot (shudder) and THIS is the result:

Cleon: *pointing at a doorknob* DIE FIEND!*stabs doorknob repeatedly*

Doorknob: (which happens to be a _Yamani_ doorknob) *bows and plots revenge for a more convenient time*

Celery: I HATE YOU SPELLCHECK!

Cleon: *snicker*

Snicker bar appears out of nowhere and beats Cleon until he quacks, because Cleon is a duck.

Cleon fangirls: No he's not! Die, authoress, die!*try to kill authoress, realize they are in her fic, are SIZZELED faster than you can say (dotdotdot) _Once upon a time there was a caterpillar. He was chased by a chicken. He ran, ran and ran. The chicken pecked his head and stepped on him. Then he ran and bumped into a cow. He climbed up the cow. The chicken jumped on the cow. The caterillar jumped off the cow and ran. He ran into a pig. He ran into the mud. Then the chicken came and saw the caterpillar. The chicken ran to him. The caterpillar ran as fast as he could. The chicken got him. He was eaten. The chicken was happy_.*

Bubblegum-pink boot: I am a poor defenseless bubblegum-pink boot who is always steped on by a fat, cross-dressing noble.

Celery: Must...Protect...Small…and…Weak…Servant's…Rights…Should…Provide…better…dental…coverage…this…is…hopeless….as…long...there…are…Crossdressing….nobles…Bubblegumpink…boots…will…be…steped…on *Sobsobsob* *kills noble* *is sued*

Joren: Hiya everyboodya! Iya Shouldya beya deadya butya(dotdotdot)iya mistyed yall tooya muchya!! (iya refuseya toya complyay toya spellchecky)

Neal: Go away, Joren, nobody likes you.

Joren: Iya knowya(dotdotdot) IYA FEELY SOSO UNLOVEED *skips away sobbing uncontrollably( and singing"I feel pretty ,oh so pretty, I fell prettyly and wittyly cuz I'm GAY!) *

Celery: let's make war on hazing!

Neal: we already did that, Cel

Celery: well the authoress is bored so(DOTDOTDOT)

Mai a hee  
_Mai a hoo  
Mai a ha  
Mai a ha ha  
Mai a hee  
Mai a hoo  
Mai a ha  
Mai a ha ha_

Cleon and Neal join in.

_ Mai a hee (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a hoo (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha ha_

_Mai a hee (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a hoo (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha ha_

_Hello  
Salute  
It's me; your Duke  
And I've made something that's real  
To show you how I feel_

_Hello  
Heeello  
It's me  
Picasso I will paint  
My words of love_

_  
With your name on every wall_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
Oo ah oo ah ai  
Oo ah oo ah oo ah ai  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it everyday_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
A little lonely stain  
All my colors fade away  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it everyday_

_I sold my streams  
My song  
And dreams  
And I bought some paint to match  
The colors of my love_

_Hello  
Heeello  
It's me again  
Picasso I will spray  
My words of love  
With your name on every wall_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
Oo ah oo ah ai  
Oo ah oo ah oo ah ai  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it every day_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
A little lonely stain  
All my colors fade away  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it every day_

_Mai a hee  
Mai a hoo  
Mai a ha  
Mai a ha ha_

_Mai a hee  
Mai a hoo  
Mai a ha  
Mai a ha ha_

_Mai a hee (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a hoo (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha ha_

_Mai a hee (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a hoo (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha (Ma mai ah)  
Mai a ha ha_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
Oo ah oo ah ai  
Oo ah oo ah oo ah ai  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it every day_

_When you leave my colors fade to gray  
A little lonely stain  
All my colors fade away  
Every word of love I used to say  
Now I paint it everyday_

Neal: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (dotdotdot) how 'bout them peasents?

Celery: PEASENTS ARE PEOPLE TOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joren: no there not!

Master Oakbridge: 'orrid grammr deairi…

Joren: I'm too nobley for grammer

Yoda: you suck!

Barney:I love you, you love me, we're a-

Everyperson who has ever or will ever live: DIE BARNEY! *beat Barney with Firebolts

Ron steals one.

George: Oy! That's MY job!

Alanna: NO HUBAND OF MINE SAYS…OY(SHUDDERSHUDDER) I WANT A DIVORCE!

Celery: why don't you just chop 'is 'ead off?

Alanna: kk

Celery: I'll help! DIE NOBLE!!!!!!!!! NO LONGER WILL YOU CRUSH THE BUBBLEGUM-PINK BOOT BENEATH YOUR FATTY HEEL!

George: I ain't no noble, lassie

Celery:LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allana: he's not a noble, Cel

Celery: oh.(dotdot) soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(dotdotdot) I CAN COUNT TO FIFTEEN!

Neal: no offence Cel, but you're really weird.

Then the world died.

Munchkinz took over.

But then they died.

And…..

**END OF CHAPPIE ONE**

**WOOHOO!**

**SORTA CLIFFI!**

**OK!**

**Ok**

**Bye**

**Review!**

**Or DIE!**

**I shouldn't have said that**

**Ignore that**

**OR DIE!**

**Ok ill go 'way now.**


	2. SHUT UP LIAM!

**Hello Folks!**

**Only ONE person reviewed! *sobsobsob***

**STUPID MEANIEHEADS!**

**I'm sosorry (that,my friends was intentional*dotdotdot*DON'T KEEEEEEEEEL MEEEEEEEEEEEE) I have no idea what came over me.**

**DON'T KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Thank you to the one person that **

**REVIEWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**Now for the rest of you (dotdotdot)**

___**Jury duty**_**!**

_**Jury duty**_**!**

___**Jury duty**_**!**__

___**Blackmail**_**!**

___**Pink slip**_**!**

_**Chain letter!**_

_**Eviction notice!**_

_**Jury**____** duty!**_

___**Ju!**_

___**Ju!**_

___**Yeah!**_

___**(dototdot)**_

___**I'M **__**NOT **____**CRAZY!**_

___**I'M NOT!**_

___**REALLY!**_

___**SERIOUSLY!**_

___**Ok I'll shut up now. **_

___Evolution rehappened!_

___Everyonez back!_

___They are mostly the same except (dotdotdot)_

___They fear DOTS!_

___Celery: Did someone say DOTS?!?_

___Everyone:*screams*_

___Liam: Did someone say MAGIC?!?_

___Everyone who has ever read Lioness Rampant: MAGICMAGICMAGICMAGIC!_

___Liam:*screams like a little girl**runs around in small circles* _

___Everyone: SHUT UP, LIAM!_

___Liam: *is still screaming like a little girl*_

___*Seventeen years later*_

___Liam: *is still screaming like a little girl and running in small circles*_

___Alanna: I missed my daughter's wedding to some freaky crow for THIS?!?_

___Cel: I'm OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!_

___Neal: I'm OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDER!_

___Myles: I'm DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!_

___Yuki: Don't, don't, don't, bite your friends!_

___Cel/Neal shippers: There she is! GET HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!_

___Yuki: *.*_

___Liam: teehee_

___Everyone: yay!_

___The Evil Authoress: *whispers* magic_

___Liam:*screams like a little girl**runs around in small circles* _

___Everyone: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww man._

___Swiper the Fox: WHO'S STEALNG MY LINES?!?_

___Harry Potter: WHO STOLE MY FIREBOLT?!?_

___Some Random Fangirl: WHO STOLE MY MEDICATION?!?_

___Troll: WHO'S TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDE?!?_

___Edward Cullen: WHO CRASHED MY VOLVO?!?_

___Fangirls: *chase after Edward*_

___Edward: *runs faster than you can say (dotdotdot)_ Welcome to Random Chicken, where chickens are random and random is the chicken. Our mission on the internet is to keep chickens as random as they can be, and you can help by contributing to the archive! There are currently over 100 chickens in the poultry archive, with more added from time to time, so make sure to bookmark this page, and return often! Happy Clucking!*

___Authoress: WHY ARE ALL THESE RANDOM PEOPLE HERE?!?*banishes the RPs*_

___Liam: *is still screaming like a little girl and running in small circles*_

___Cel: hey I have an idea!_

___Everyone (including Cel): What __is____ it?_

___Cel: Let's kill Liam!_

___Everyone (including Cel): Good idea, Cel!_

___Liam: *is still screaming like a little girl and running in small circles*_

___Goodwin: But mah peoples wanna towrture heem!_

___Everyone(except Goodwin): TOO BAD!_

___Goodwin: Yall are a bunch of-_

___Authoress: WAIT! *turns to the audience* To preserve the rating and contribute to the randomness of this lovliful fic, I will change all cussing to (dotdotdot) SCUTALOO!_

___Everyone: WHAT THE-_

___Authoress: Scootallo._

___Cleon: That's ridiculous!_

___Authoress: DOT!_

___Everyone:*scream like little girls**run around in small circles*_

___Authoress: *cackles*.(dotdotdot)_

___**REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEIW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

___**Pweety pweese? **_

___**Or Die!**_

___**I shouldn't have said th-**_

___**Wowz **_

___**(dotdotdot) **_

___**Déjà-vu.**_

___**Buh-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**_


	3. Muahahaha!

**Hello Folks!**

**Gosh, Goshalotz, and GollyGeeazolts!**

**Still one review? Tut,tut,tut.**

**Oh well. **

**I'm sososad (of course you all know by now that that was INTENTIONAL).**

**To all my dear non-reveiwers(dotdotdot)**

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

_**This is the song that never ends,**_

_**Yes, it just goes on and on my friends**_

_**Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,**_

_**And they'll continue singing it forever just because (dotdotdot)**_

**To the one person that reviewed (dotdotdot)**

**I am sososososorrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**And now I will start the loverlilyful fanfiction!**

**Oh noes !**

**I DIDN'T USE CAPS LOCK FOR THIS ENTIRE (DOTDOTDOT) WHAT **_**IS**_** THIS THINGERMAJIG SUPPOSTED TO BE?**

**I WILL START THE FIC!**

**DUNDUNDUNDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!**

Celery:Urg!

Urg the Unclean: WHAT DO YOU WANT MORTAL?!? DARE YOU CHALLENGE MY UNCLENLINESS?!? HA! YOU WILL BECOME KNOCKED OUT THE MOMENT YOU GET WITHIN 12,228,594,758,957,375,049,072,064,985,094,663,539 FEET OF ME!

Celery: I just had the worst day EVER!

George Bush: bet on it?

Alanna: Hey, Georgie?

George (Bush and Cooper): What?

Alanna: My husband, douche! DO THAT AGAIN AND I WILL SET DRUNKEN MYLES ON YOU!!

George: *all small and meek* Yes, dearilei? *robbes George Bush*

Alanna: Change your name.

George: Why my rose-glass-petal-dewdrop-lioness-leaf-monkey-person-who-can-skin-me-alive-in-three-seconds-but-I-can-skin-you-too-so-(dotdotdot)-Mmmmmm?

Alanna: DARE YOU QUESTION THE WILL OF THE GREAT ALANA?!?

George:um(dotdotdot)No?

Alanna's Therapist: Now dear this is the situation we were talking about. Just take deep breathes, count to -10000000, and remember-

Alanna: *Chops therapist's head off*

Cleon: (In a sing-songish way) Anger Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanagement.

Cel: Oy!

Everyone (including Cel): What?

Cel: Let's get back to talking aobut ME!

George Bush: Who the-

Authoress: Sckadoodle!

George Bush: What the-

Authoress: Sckadoodle!

George Bush: Oh my-

Authoress: Sckadoodle! THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT! MUAHAHAHA!

George Bush: *vanishes in a puff of bubblegum-pink smoke*

Cleon: *scared-little-mouseily* Where is he?

Authoress: He has been (dotdotdot) ELIMINATED! YOU COULD BE NEXT! YOU CANT RUN, HIDE, SKIP, JUMP, SING, BE A LEMUR, OR DAZZLE ME WITH VAMPIRE POWERS! THOSE ARE THE RULES! BEGIN! (AND NO, I WILL _NOT_ TAKE OFF CAPS LOCK!)

Everyone: ahhhhhh!*scream and walk around in small circles*

Cel: Why does no one want to hear about my day?!?

Everyone: ahhhhhh!*scream and walk around in small circles*

Cel: I FEEL SOOOOO UNLOVED!

Everyone: ahhhhhh!*scream and walk around in small circls*

Cel: well I'm going to tell you anyway!

Everyone: ahhhhhh!*scream and walk around in small circls*

Cel: I was challenged by 7483875936762398798469769364986593864598364593693865984693659246932898498649294869582639856928698685769238 20785924876593846575735047973586477546778052584847670479 knights, then Peachblosom swallowed Neal whole- he is sooo going to get indigestion- and NOW this! THIS DAY CAN NOT GET ANY WORSE!

Everyone: *Gasp*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cel: What the (dotdotdot) Sckadoodles?

Everyone: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!

Cel: This day cannot get any worse!

Authoress: *cackles*

Cel: Oh Deariloo.

**Muahaha!**

**Review!**

**Or…..I WILL SEND YOU PEACHBLOOSOM-WITH-INDIGESTION-INABOX!**

**Here, have a cookie!**

**OMS I FORGOT TO SHUN THE RULES OF PHYSICS! Oh WHELL, WDID!**

**If you can tell me what that stand for (dotdotdot) I will send you the most prettyfullest e-cookie anyone ever saw!**

**Mrs. Weasley: Bet on it?**

**Authoress: Backs away slowly.**


	4. Authoress participatsalot!

**Hello Folks!**

**YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!**

**YAHAWL reviewed!!!**

**I'm ohsososososoohohosososososohohohohsooooooososoohsohappyhappyhappypappy!**

**I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO ALL MY (4) LOVERLILY REVEIWERS!**

**I LIKE TO EAT EAT EAT APPPLES AND BANNANS!**

**AH LYUKE TWOO MEAT MEAT MEAT MAPPLES AND MANNAS!**

**EYE LEEK TUHWOO KEET KEET KEET CAPPELS AND CANNANAS!**

**I LAHK TUH REET REET REET RAPPLES AND RANNANS!**

**IYA LIKEYA TYA FEETYA FEETYA FEETYA FAPPLEEEEEES AND FANNANAS!**

**I CAN NOT NOT NOT COME UP WITH MOHYRE ACCENTS!**

**This, my folked peoples was said in my loverlily mind, yelling at the top of my lungs.**

**If that maid any sence, call me a cookoo duckbunny and ship me to (dotdotdot) MARS TO BE EATEN BY CANNIBALISTIC MUSHROOMS!**

**Logical people (gasptheygaspexist!!!gaspgasp) would say at this point in time: if the mushrooms were cannibals, then would they not eat their fellow mushrooms? I doubt you would be in-**

**Me!(ofthepumpkinpatch):SACRIFCE!* points at the logical person*YOU! ARE TO BE THE SACRIFICE TO MOONPIEMONKEYSOF(DOTDOTDOT)YOMAMMA!**

**Logical person: Runs. Fast.**

**Me! :*while chasing after the logical person*TIME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(DOTDOTDOT) START THE FIC!**

Cel: OM-

Authoress: Skadoodle!

Cel: Yes, almighty authoress!

Authoress: Nice try. YOUWILLNOTESCAPEYOURFAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!

Everyone(exept Cel): wuhwuhwhat us about uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus?!?!

Authoress: *softly* muahahaha *smiles evilly*

Everyone: We awl gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeee!

Neal: I'm making a break for it!*runs toward the exit*

Authoress: Foollish logicalperson,(tothetuneofhollerbackgirl) this MY fic, this MY fic (whoawhoa)this MY fic this MY fic!*

*while authoress is being a dummie*

Neal:*is struck by lightning*

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!* Run around in small circles*

Authoress: I SAID NO RUNNING! YOU SHALL BE (DUNDUNDUN)ELIMINATED!

Chamber of Ordeal: *in a booming voice* an I help? Preety preety pehrlease with a bubblegum mint on tawp?

Authoress: Suuuuuuuuuuuure you can.

CoO:Yeahyeah! wootwoot! *Dances around in circles*

Everyone with a brain (that does not have ADD) in their head: Chambers can dance?

Authoress:*sizzles peoples*YA! NOW IM THE MOST LOGICAL!*cackles *Are you afraid?

Everyone(including Authoress): ALL IS LOST! EVERY MAN, WOMAN, CHILD, RUBBER DUCK, AND CANNIBAL MUSHROOM FOR HIM, HER, IT OR ITTHEMUSHROOMSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELF!!!

Authoress: This is boring! And if I'm bored, the audience is bored twoo!

Alanna: BUT YEOU(almight authoress priasespraises )HAVE ADD!

Authoress:*giggles*did you not forget that the logical people have been SIZZLED!

Neal: What about MEEEEEE?!?

Authoress :Oh, I'll get to you ,Nealie, I'll get to you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Law of Physic: Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la—

Authoress: CANIBAL MUSHROOMS, ATAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

TheMushroomKing: But I thought we were supposted to SHUN! him. (dotdotdot)oh(dotdotdot) great One of Authorness?

Cel: Isn't this fic supposed to be about us?!?

Dom: I'm HEEEEEERE!

Peachblossom: I ate your relative!

Dom: Oh I'm sosorry!

Peachblossom: You otter be!

Dom: I feel your pain.

Peachblossom: He gave me INDIGESTION!

Dom: It's happened to all of us, peachie.

Peachblossom: DOT!

Dom:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!* runs around in small circles*

Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!* runs around in small circles*

Peachbossom: I'm ending the fic with another song!

Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!* runs around in small circles*

Peachblossom: I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor  
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor  
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor  
And I don't like it very much

Oh no (oh no) he swallowed my toe (he swallowed my toe)

Oh me (oh me) he swallowed my knee (he swallowed my knee)

Oh fiddle (oh fiddle) he's up to my middle (he's up to my middle)

Oh heck (oh heck) he swallowed my neck (he swallowed my neck)

Oh - (GULP!)

Authoress's Left shoe (whose name is Debarkera the eleventeenth): Encore, ON Cor!

Peachblossom: kay,Deeebs

Way down in the congo land sitting in a coconut tree,  
there was a monkey and a chimp--and Lordy how she loved him.  
Everynight in the pale moonlight sitting in the coconut tree,  
these love words she always said to he...

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the monkey to the chimp.  
"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the chimpee to the monk.  
All night long they chattered away.  
All day long they were happy and gay,  
swinging and swaying in a honky, tonky way.

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the chimp, "I love but you."  
Abba dabba dabba in monkey talk means  
"Chimp, I love you too."  
Then the ol' baboon, one night in June,  
married them and very soon,  
they sailed away on an abba dabba honeymoon.

One more time!

Way down in the congo land sitting in a coconut tree,  
there was a monkey and a chimp--and Lordy how she loved him.  
Everynight in the pale moonlight sitting in the coconut tree,  
these love words she always said to he...

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the monkey to the chimp.  
"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the chimpee to the monk.  
All night long they chattered away.  
All day long they were happy and gay,  
swinging and swaying in a honky, tonky way.

"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"  
said the chimp, "I love but you."  
Abba dabba dabba in monkey talk means  
"Chimp, I love you too."  
Then the ol' baboon, one night in June,  
married them and very soon,  
they sailed away on an abba dabba honeymoon.

WOOOHOOO!

Authoress: Buh-Bye Tah yallz of the (shuddershudder)_ real_ world!

**And remember to(dotdotdot)**

**REVIEW!da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di da d ba dee da ba di da ba dee  
Da ba di da ba dee da ba di da REVIEW!da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di da d ba dee da ba di da ba deeDa ba di da ba dee da ba di da REVIEW!da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di da d ba dee da ba di da ba dee Da ba di da ba dee da ba di da REVIEW!da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di da d ba dee da ba di da ba dee Da ba di da ba dee da ba di da **

**RE-**

**VUH- **

**YEW!**

**Or die!**

**No!**

**I will not take it back!**

**I won't!**

**I mean it! **

**Really!**

**Annnnnnd?**

**Do you know the munchkin land?**

**WELL DO YA!?!?!**


	5. ShOrT ChApPie!

**Hello Folks!**

**I'm ohsososoohsosaddiepaddy!**

**Neeeeeeeeeeeeeew wuh-yun re-vuh-yewdethed!**

**Exotheped(dotdotdot)**

**a PERTHON!**

**If youoftherealworld(shuddershudder) are a'wondring wha im'a soso silly-like-a-billy then(dotdotdot)**

**I'M NOT GOING TWO TEEEEEEEL YOOOOOOOOOO!**

**MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY SHORT CHAPPIE THAT ADDS NOTHING TO THE STORY!**

**UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER CHAPPIES!**

**There nawat(lolz)short!**

**Today-onthisohsoloverlilyday- the peoples d'Tortilla will be (dotdotdot) (antictipationOOoO)**

**Odd.**

**Oddly.**

**Oderlilyful!**

**Wootwootwoot!**

**TIGHTROPE-JUMPING-ON-THE-MOON-WITH-YOUR-OWN-PERSONAL-BUTT-MONKEY!**

**Ignorethelasttwooooo.**

**Or Die!**

Celery: Why is it that every fic stats with me talking?

Neal: Why am I not dead yet?

Alanna: Why am I always shouting?

Owen:Why(jolly)are(jolly)we(jolly)all(jolly)talking(jolly)about(jolly)our(jolly)feelings?

Prosper: Why does no-one know who I am?

Authoress: BRING OUT THE RANDOMEEES!!!

Randomees: WHY IS THE RAT KILLER OF THE FORTH TABLECLOTHE WITH DOTS-

Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *scream like little girls and run around in small circles*

Authoress:and all was fine again.

**OFICIALLY THE SHORTEST CHAPPIE EVA!**

**THERE MORE PHYCO-NOTES(FORM THE AUTHOR) THAN FIC!**

**That is all.**

**(dotdotdot)**

**DON'T KEEEEEEEEEEEL MEH!**


	6. The PLOT BEGINS! gaspgasp

**Hello(dotdotdot)**

**(dootdotdot)**

**(DOTDOTDOT)**

**PEOPLES!**

**THERE!**

**YOU REVEIWED!**

**YOU WON!**

**WELL I SORTA DID TOO!**

**BUT WHATEVER!**

**Oh wezzeles!**

**In this loverliful day of my lee-aye-ifee…**

**I…**

**Will…**

**Do..**

**TOTALLYRANDOMSTUFFTHATWILLQUITEHONESTLYSCARETHECRAPSOUTOFALLYOU**

**NONRANOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!**

**I had a grimmer-grammar test today!**

**(sobsobsosad!)**

**We gonner 'ave ah thianthe thest thooothorrow!**

**(TAKE **_**THAT **_**GRAMMEREES)**

**These facts will be reflected on the fic.**

**Der-ness.**

**Totally bubbly-making!**

**Lolz(GO RUSTEIS!)**

Celery: Tralalala!

Alanna: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Celery: What? Did ja breaketh a nay-ail? Did ja spraineth ur wrist? Did ja killeth ur 'usband? Did ja (dotdotdot) FINALLY ACCEPT THE CANNABALISTIC MUSHROOMS INTO NORMAL MUSHROOM SOCIETY AND POLITICS ANDVIDEO-GAMINGAND OTHER SHTUFF THAT WE ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW ABOUT?!?!

Alanna:um(dotdotdot)no?

Celery: I don't believe-eth YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Alanna: Baaaaaack to the point ppls!

Celery: Points are pointy!

Alanna: Good point. *screams*

Randomee: *Runs by yodeling while conking a rabbit on the head with a unicycle*

Celery: Where are all the other randomees?

Alanna: I dunno, ask (dotdotdot) YO MAMA!

Lady Ilane: How in the little puple polka-dotted flat world that is the center of the universe would I know where the randomees go?

Alanna: Ooooooh!

Raoul: Ahhhhhhhhh!

Celery: oooooh? ahhh?

Knights('cept cellie): A LADY!!

Alanna; What an odd specimen!

Everyone (except Alanna): OHMY-

Authoress: SKCADOODLE!

Everyone (except Alanna): Alanna said(gasphyperventilategasp) SPECIMEN!

Alanna: OH MY *Looks nervously up at the ceiling* SCKAOODLE! I'm a science nerd!

ScienceNerd: We *snort* are taking *snort* over the world!!!1!one1!

CoolNerds:GET HER!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress; *Runs. Fast.*

-backtothewar-

Cel:tralalal-

Alanna: That already happened, dummie!

Cel: Whatevers!

Neal: I come bearing news!

Cel: WHAT?!?

Neal: Well, now I'm not going to answer!

Cel: Fiiine. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neal: Much better!

Alanna:WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT'S THE NEWS DUMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neal: You're almost too good at this!

Cel and Alanna: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Neal:Thenewsisthatthelawsofphysicsandtherulesofgrammerhaveteamedupandaregoingtowagewarontherandomees!

Cel and Alanna: *are too shocked too kill Nealie*

**To Be Continued!**

**Tehee **

**Cliffie!**

**Lol!**

**Muaahah!**

**I heart centering!**

**Mutters: Iwillnotsingrandomlyokmaybeiwill**

**Ohh.... who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!**

**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
If nautical nonsense is something you wish,  
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
Then drop on the deck and glub like a fish!  
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!  
Ready?  
SpongeBob Square Pants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob... SquarePants!  
Haha!  
Da da da da dum da dum!**


	7. Kaboom

**Hello Folks!**

**MUAHAHAHA!**

**Yew didn't review e-nuff!**

**My Fellow Randomees: WAZZ e-nuff? I want e-nuff! Is it like e-stuff? How 'bout e-ruff? E-buff? E-tuff? WHATISITWHYWONTYOUTELL MEISITACANNIBALISTICMUSHROOMAREWEALL GOINGTOBEEATENALIVE?!?!**

**E-nuff:But I don't wanna b. reviewed!!**

**MFR (My Fellow Randomees):GET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Authoress: HEY! CUT THE SCRIPT FORM!**

**Ernie the Manager: I am so sorry! So sosososososososososososososososo soriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!**

**Authoress: TOO LATE!**

***Ka-Boom***

**Everybody: ('cept Authoress): *sadly* We awl gonna die.**

**Authoress :Too true,too true.**

**Randomee Umpilkie: Shouldn't you be starting the fic?**

***Ka-boom***

**Authoress: He's right, I should. **

Cel: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME THAT STARTS TALKING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FIC?!? STOP IT, EVIL AUTHORESS, I COMMAND YOU!

Evil Authoress: HA! You can't command ME!

Cel: oh right…AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ka-boom*

Fanatics: You can't kill off Cel, she's CENTRAL!

Authoress: THAT'S _EVIL _AUTHORESS TO YOU, DILLWEED!!! *turns to fanatics* I'm sorry, all complaints must be turned in to my office…THAT DOESN'T EXIST!!! ZONK!!!!! Muahahaha!

Alanna: YAY!

Nealie: What? OH MY-

Authoress: SCADOODLE!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!

Nealie: ..NEALIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!

Authoress: Cuz you're mah favorite(dototdot)Nealie.

Nealie: *sighs* What did I do to deserve this?

Authoress: All I can say is…YOU ARE SO SCADOODLIN' LUCKY THAT I DON'T LET SHIPPERS IN THE BUILING!!(dotdotdot) or do I??

Nealie: Shippers?!? What Shippers?!? Where?!? Are they going to kill me?!? Why-

Authoress: *sighs* you axed four eet. SHIPPERS (dotdotdot) ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Nealie: *screams*

Shippers: DIE, NEALIE, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * chase Nealie*

Dom: Didn't there used to be a plot?

Authoress: Quiet, Dommie-rella,or I'll set shippers on YOU too.

Dommie-rella: Shippers?!? What Shippers?!? Where?!? Are they going to kill me?!? Why-

Everyone: kent cha twell that their related?

Meathead: Oh thank God they're go- HEY! WHEN DID I TURN INTO MEATHEAD?!?

Dommie-rella: When you became a meathead, Meathead.

Meathead: Shut it, Dommie-rella.

Authoress: Oh my Gawd you're so annoying!

*Ka-boom*

Shippers: GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET HEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ka-boom*

Authoress: Don't you think that BY NOW they would have realized that they are in MY fic?

Alanna: Eh. They're just shippers.

Authoress: YOU have shippers too, 'lannie-belle. And they're OLD, DESPERATE shippers.

'lannie-belle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING BORING! BRING OUT THE 'SHROOMS!

'shrooms: We are CANNIBALISTIC MUSHROOMS, NOT THE 'SHROOMS! HOW DARE YOU-

*Ka-boom*

Authoress: stupid 'shrooms.

'lannie-belle: Won't the Laws and the Rules attack us?

*Ka-boom*

Authoress: No…I can KA-BOOM them. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

.

Authoress: Helloooooooooooooooooooo?

.

Authoress: Randomees?

.

Authoress: Characters?

.

Authoress: MERM????????????????????

.

Authoress: Oh, fine.

*Un-Kaboom*

Everyone: YAY!!! WE'RE BAAAAAAAACK! WE'RE NEVER GOING AWAY! WE'RE

*Ka-boom*

Authoress: The just never learn.

REVIEW!

SERIOUSLY!

I MEAN IT!

Oh wait…

Haven't yall been ka-boomed?

Oh well.

REVIEW ANYWAY!

Tell me what it's like!

Kay?

Great!

OR DIE!

OR BE UN-KABOOMED!

WHICHEVER!

Bye.


	8. THE FANGIRLS ARE COMING!

**Hello ….FOLKS!!**

**Muahahaha.**

**And the lesson of THIS short tale is(dotdotdot) NEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEEVER EEVER EVEER EVEEER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEEVER EEVER EEVER EEVER EEEEEEVER EAT MUSHROOMS WITHOUT THE **_**EXPRESS**_** PERMISSION OF THE DIGREGABLE PLUM MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**In other nehyws:**

**I have DECIDED!!!!**

***Un-Kaboom***

**Congradulations Mr. and Mrs. Plum, it's digergable **

**You must be so pround.**

**OLIVES MUST BE WISPERED TO!!!!!!!!! THAT IS YOUR MISSION FOR THE DAY!!!**

**IF YOU DON'T YOUR TAXES WILL BE AUDITED!!!**

**OH YEAH. I SAID IT.**

**Ohe, bie thi wayz?**

**Eef yoo C LUNA LOVEGOOD, tell her I vant to speak to 'er plums.**

**PLEEASE?**

**NO?!?!!?**

**But(dotdotdot)WHY?????**

**If you-**

**La la lalalala**

**Lalalalalalala!**

Celery: THIS IS DISCRIMANATION I TELL YOU!!!!! OTHE PEOPLE COULD TALK'ETH FIRST, BU NO IT'S ALWAYS ME ME ME!

Authoress: Self-centered much?

Celery: I TELL YOU- Wait, what?

Authoress: Nothing.

Alanna: But you DID say something Authie.

Authoress: DO YOU WANT A REAPEAT OF THE LAST CHAPTER?!?

Alanna:Well-

Authoress: Don't answer that.

Raoul: Authoress! We want you to command the army!

Authoress: * In Academy Awards voice* Oh! This is soo unexpected!* Takes out speech* Of all the times we randomees eat apple pie, BY FAR the-

Raoul: So you'll do it?

Authoress: MAKE ME!!! * cackles * You'll never take me alive!!!!!!!!

Raoul : (dotdotdot)When exactly did yu lose you're mind?

Authoress: About three mothts ago, when I-

Audience: WE"RE BOREDishly!!!!!!

Authoress: Oh, I'm sorry! * Gives PEASANTS amo*

Alanna: Amo? Do wee vant dis to be a violent fic?

Cleon: Didn't you just cut off you're therapist's head?

Alanna: OM-

Authoress: Scadoodles! THEY JUST NEVER LEARN.

Alanna: Look at Cleon's HEAD! I's blocking out the SUN!!!!!

Everyone: THE ICE AGE IS COMING!!! WE'RE AWL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Peasant's: *PELLATEEEE CLEON WITH RUBBER DUCKS*

Everyone: OM-

Authoress: SCADDODLE, Scadoodleit!

Everyone: Ginny Weasley is teh pretty!

Zamini: I am teh prettier, SCADOODLE IT!

Edward: Bella! She's EATING _ICE CREAM_! SHE'LL GET A _BRAIN FREEZE_! AND I'M NOT THERE TO _SAVE HER! _ I'M SUCH A _BAD PERSON_!

Twilight haters/ Team Jacobers: Too true, too true!

Alanna: AhHHHHHHHHHHH!

Authoress: VAT, mongrel?

Alanna: Don't you realize what you have DOOOOOOOONE!?!?!!?!

Authoress; Um(dotdotdot) YESSSSS???

Alanna: THE FANGIRLS ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Scream and sprint around in small circles*

Authoress: We must do the(dotdotdot) FANGIRL BANISHMENT JINKS (dundundunduuuun)

Neal:*derisively* Can't YOU banish them? After all you're the Almighty Authoress (praisespraises).

Authoress: Good WORK Nealie! You've found the first ingredient! The statement of the obvious which everyone is too stupid to realize! NOW (dotdotdot) WE MUST CATCH IT, BEFORE IT GETS AWAY! QUICK, BEFORE IT GETS AWAY!

Nealie: Urg(dotdotdot) Wait, NEALIE?!!?

Authoress: Oh, Nealie. You've found the NEXT TWO ingredients! A frusterated orge and a the shout of a hated nickname. You're soooo handsome.

Neal: *screams girlishly* The authoress is FLIRTING with me!!

Everyone: Oh,you're going to die.

Authoress: A girlish scream and a proclamation of death!! Now all we need is a human sacrifice!

Everone(including EVERYONE): Looks at Cleon.

Clean One: MEEE?!?!!

Authoress: Stop whining, Cleanie, you'll only come out of this a little(dotdotdot) dead. But It's OK! I had SUBWAY FOR LUNCH!!

Eric: *Has mental breakdown*

Alanna: OH, let's get this OVER WITH ALREADY! Chops of Cleon's Head.

Everyone; HE WAS SO UGLY! *sobsob*

**The END!**

**Review!!!! **

**Or the fangirls will get you!**


	9. Heh Heh heh

**Hello Folks! **

**I'm DEPRESSSSSSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!**

**Don't you want to know why?**

**You do?!!?!**

**Normal people: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!**

**Authoress: I KNEW you cared!**

**LUNA (breathe) LOVEGOOD (breathe) ATE(breathe) MY (breathe) PLIMPLY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**IT WAS SO YOUNG! SO FULL OF LIFE!**

**It's a NATIONAL TRADGEDY –**

**Everyone: Sckadoodleit!**

**Authoress: You know what-**

**Alanna's**** Therapist: Now honey, breathe in and out, and remember, ka-boom is a PRIVALAGE, not a right and-**

***Ka Boom***

**Authoress: Heeheehee. **

**I vill now start the fic!**

**And cut out the confusing format!**

**AND ABUSE THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON SOME MORE.**

**AND-**

**Everyone: JUST START THE FIC, ALREADY!!**

**FINE! Merlin's 'shroom! **

The Ghost of Alanna's Therapist: DO NOoOooOT UuuUuUUUuUUse the Ka-BooOOooOm…

Authoress: I hear voices! Yay! Now I'm TWO types of crazy! Also, wonderful thing happen to those who eat Marshmallow brains under the boning moon on the third of April, Or was it July, I can NEVER remember, and also sing about ME! The Great one of authoressness, and if you're a fic character you won't be a Mary Sue, and you won't be the chosen one, and the cannibal mushrooms can has eated you without mushrooms and gravy and kethechep and mikki-suause( made from intestines of a blue flower with red thorns , founded by the a color-blind rhino.

Garmmereees:* die with shock*

Cel: Oh my sckadoodles!

Authoress: Goodto see you're FINALLY catching on! Also, WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????????????????????????

Cel: You killed the grammar-monk!

Pages: Hail Authoress, the grammar-monk is dead!

Auhoress: I didn't MEAN to kill him-

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: I talk don't I?

Aly: (dotdotdot)

Authoress: Oh. Cel's. Greenness.

Cel: Hey!

Evil!Athoress: Look! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: What?

Authoress: Nothing.

Everyone: Grrr.

Authoress: You know what? Be quiet. I'm only trying to be amusing.

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!!

Cel: This is old, dead, rotting, being eaten by people who don't mind rotting food(dotdotdot)

Owen: BANDITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cel: But they're people too!

Joren: (singing) I'm blonde, so blond , I'm a happy pretty person who is so so BLOND!

Authoress: The temptation. It is too great.

Army Of Randomees: WE WHEEL ATTACK! *dye joren's hair Peasant.

Authoress: Wow, that actually makes him look less girlish.

Jorenella: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Authoresss: Eer PLURGS, get'cher EEER PLURGS (dotdotdot) OR SUFFER MY(dotdotdot) displeasure.

Everyone(except Authoress): *Get ear plugs. Fast*

Authores: Heh heh heh(dotdotdot)

Joren: What are you heh heh'ing about? Also(dotdotdot) MY HAIR!!! MY BUEATIFUL, SUN-GOLD-NOBLEY-KINGLY-WONDERFUL HAIR!!!!THE LIGHT AND PRIDE OF MY HOUSE!!! IT's(dotdotdot) Its (dotdotdot) PEASANT!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: Awwwwwww (dotdotdot) would you like some chocolate?

Jorenella: *sniffs* Yes please. *Eats chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Very alarming amounts of the stuff. Enough chocolate to fill a pie graph. Eats more chocolate*

*Ten years later*

Jorenella: *Is still eating chocolate*

Garvey: *whispers* I didn't want to say anything (dotdotdot) Buuuut (dototdot) have you noticed Joren's gotten a bit-

Jorenella: I'm FAT!! *cries*

Coram: Shattup, pretty boy. Wait (dotdotdot) I'm _DEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!_

George: HOW THE SCADOODLES DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?

Authoress: GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

George: What?

Authoress: You're here! Because you're my 'avorite!

Nealie The Scorned: (dotdotdot) I thought _I _was your favorite!!!!

Authoress: Sod off Nealie, I like this guy better.

Nealie: I FEEL SO UNLOVED!!!!

Jon: I'm pretty, so pretty, look at my pretty hair!

Diane: FREE THE WOLVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *frees wolves*

Wolves: *eat Peachblossom. Then mess up Johnny's hair*

Cel and Jonnie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *have funeral*

Dom: Everybody, your pretty.

Cel: SEE CLEON!!!! DOMMIE-RELLA FLIRTS WITH EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

Cleon: What, ever?

.

.

.

Authoress: (dotdotdot) I LIKE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gary the Bookworm: EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (dotdotdot) PIE IS MESSY!!!!! IT GETS ON MY PAPERS!!!

Nealie: Didn't you use to be logical? What happened?

Gary the Bookworm: I dunno (dotdotdot) It might have something to do with the fact that (dotdodot) THE AUTHORESS STOLE MY MEDICATION!!!

Authoress: Heh. Heh heh.

Alanna: Let's make friends with people who won't try to chop off our heads and sell them on eBay. *glares at Neal*

Neal: *shifty eyes*

Person Who Won't chop Off The Character's Heads And Sell Them On Ebay, And Is A Vehemic Hater Of Twilight, And Likes Pie With Yellow And Onions: Hi.

Alanna: Oh, Cel's Greenness! Hi!!!!

PWWCOTCHASTOEAIAVHOTALPWYAO: Twilight sucks. Admit it. You know it does.

_**This Scene has been ommmited due to Disturbing Fangirl Violence.**_

Authoress: We LoOoOoOOoOoOooOOooOve Twiiiiilght

Alanna: You'll never take me alive!!!!!!

Fangirls: Erm,yes, we will.

Authoress: THIS IS SO PORRIGE!!!* Pulls house made of porridge out of pocket*

Physics Monk: *dies of shock*

Pages: HAIL Authoress, the Physics Monk is dead.

Autthoress: I didn't MEAN to kill him-

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: I dislike monkeys!

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: I'm wearing a tie made of the skin of potatoes!

Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!

Authoress: The moon will blow up! I will help it!

Aly: SHE LI- Oops. Erm. (dotdotdot) I LIKE PIE!!!!!!

George: SHE LIES!!!!!

Everone: *Gasps. So much that there is no oxygen in the room. Keep gasping. Hyperventiate. Pass out. Wake up* YOU DON'T LIKE PIE?!?

George: Heh. Heh heh.

**Reveiew!**

**Phasherioshly! **

**If you tell me what that means(dotdotdot) I'll (dotdotdot) BAKE YOU A COOKIE!!!!!**

**Aly: SHE LIES!!!!!**

**Shattup, Aly-the-pretty.**

**Aly: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**The window man want to tell me that it is NEVER MY FAULT if the window breaks.**

**Sooooo(dotdotdot) IF I BLOW UP THE WORLD AND MY WINDOW BREAKS, I'M COVERED?!?**

**Heh heh heh….**

**BYE!!!!**


	10. Randome Korea Plea: Colon Use Fail

Hey, you loyal reader people, *crickets in the distance* ….

Eh, whatever.

Well, any of you lovely users, and those who are given this via stumbleupon or whatever:

I am shamelessly begging:

READ MY ESSAY. And comment. (It's like reviews but also more like a cage fight of internet trolls.)

..us/wpmu/eng9c/2011/04/09/life-behind-the-bamboo-curtain/

Srsly, y'all.

It's about North Korea.

It's kind of depressing, but be valiant internet vigilantes and defend me in the comments section...

As a kind of incentive: Although I've long ago abandoned my stories, I will legitimately add a chapter to EACH for every three *good* comments the thing gets…


End file.
